PhilWiesner on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/philwiesner/art/PUR-Sanitarium-Title-Card-Base-379424677PhilWiesner

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PUR - Sanitarium Title Card Base

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So I checked my e-mail a little while ago, and there was a message from PushingUpRoses asking if I could do a title card for a review she was doing of Sanitarium.

I wasn't sure if I could do it at first. Sure, I had firsthand knowledge of being in a mental institution for about a month of my life when I was 12 and struggling since then to be what people consider "normal"; but recent events had shattered my belief in my own abilities as a person.

A while ago I found out that my best friend, that I had known for 10 years and helped out in a rough patch of his life, had taken the trust I had in him and used it as a stepping stones to further cement his own perversions. As soon as I found out about what he was into, and the people who were at risk because of it; I told him to leave and severed all ties with him, reported it to the cops, let mutual friends know what was going on so they could make their own choices to help him or not from there (and so he couldn't potentially screw them over). We had been best buds for a long time, and that statement of "birds of a feather" tormented me. He had tried to worm his way into every aspect of my life, so at the end of this whole mess after the adrenaline had passed...I was left a emotionally broken mess.

Art hasn't come easy lately, and I thought this one would drain me like the Valentine's Day picture for Roses did...but this came out so easily. And like a parallel to what Roses said in the review, something this dark in subject matter really helped me in a time when I needed to vent things that were dark in subject matter.

I'm still rebuilding myself, but I guess I felt a bit more comfortable coming out and saying this publicly because this review reminded me that I'm not alone when it comes to dark times in our lives, they just take different forms for everyone.

PushingUpRoses' review is right here: [link]
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Comments6
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CreatureSH's avatar
I first saw this artwork in the corresponding review and was very impressed by it. It's so raw and visceral, and some of the details are such a stroke of genius. I find myself particularly impressed by the "fake hair" detail of the mask and the bloody trail left by her fingers on the table. The gorescreen is amazing in its own right and the likeness is excellent, but these are the showstoppers for me.

When I sought it out on here, I did not expect to find that the making of it held such a meaning to you, but it does make sense in hindsight. When I first saw it in the video, I was a little puzzled by it - It seemed like your style that I'd seen in the "raptors" piece, but at the same time, it felt almost too visceral and personal to be a mere commission. Seeing the history attached, that makes sense.

What you describe sounds like you did the right, and most difficult thing in the situation that you were in. I hope that your efforts to rebuild yourself and fill the holes that were torn into your life will be very successful - It's the very least of what you deserve.